Risk of Waiting Too Long To Propose

 

If you are with a partner that you know you want to take the next step with, you may have thought about proposing soon.  Sometimes this thought process can take a while and you may end up taking longer than you partner would want you to take.  According to The Press & Journal, there are risks associated with waiting too long to pop the question.  While we definitely don’t recommend pressuring anyone to propose if they are not ready, we also understand that waiting around forever is not acceptable either.  Below, we wanted to share the Risk of Waiting Too Long To Propose:

1. Break Up

In a recent survey, 10% of women said they would dump a partner for taking too long. If you have been in a relationship for a long time and you know your partner is the one, it is probably time to start thinking of taking your relationship to the next level.  If you are not sure after spending a few years together, then maybe it is not meant to be a forever thing.

Of course, the definition of “too long” is very subjective and varies depending on the couple.  It is solely dependent only the relationship between you and your partner and outside influences shouldn’t sway you one way or another.  As long as you two are on the same page about your goals and relationship, then your partner might be starting the clock.

2. Cause Stress

If your partner is ready to take the next step, it can become very stressful if you are dragging your feet on proposing.  Your partner could constantly start “dropping hints” or begin giving you ultimatums about when to propose. That kind of pressure is sure to cause you stress and can really put a damper on your relationship.  You can try to dampen the stress by expressing to your partner your need for more time, but this would only be a temporary fix.

3. Feel Resentful

One lasting side effect for taking too long to propose is that your partner may begin to feel resentful.  It may even get amplified if your partner has noticed friends and family around them getting engaged themselves.   They may feel as though something must be wrong with them that is making you not want to pop the question.  Or they may start feeling like you just don’t value them or take them seriously.   And the scary thing about feelings of resentment is that they tend to last a really long time.  So even if you propose and get married, there could be those lingering feelings or fear that you only proposed because you were pressured.  This is yet another risk of waiting too long to propose.

4. Downward Spiral

Feelings of resentment can start another process that is bad news for your relationship.  If you wait too long, you partner may talk to their friends negatively about you about this and this can spiral from there.  Your partner might start having negative feeling start to appear about your and this can cause some heavy damage to your happiness and your relationship.

5. May Say No

If you have waited a long time to propose and your partner is already feeling resentful, then your partner may say no if you do decide to propose.  The stress of having to give ultimatums and constantly nagging about a proposal may have worn them down.  When you finally do propose, they may end up feeling you are only doing it to quiet them and now they don’t want to say yes.  Of course, this would be the ultimate heartbreak due to different timelines you and your partner have.

6. Find Someone Else

In the recent survey mentioned above, some participants admitted they had met someone else while waiting for their engagement in vain. Granted, if your partner finds someone while they are dating you then maybe they aren’t worthy of marrying anyway.  However, if your partner really wants to get married and start a family and they don’t feel you are willing to meet their needs, then it is a real risk.  If your partner believes you have all the qualities they’re looking for but just have not taken the next step, then someone else that has similar qualities and is willing to take that step would sound a lot more enticing to them.

7. May Choose To Propose

If your partner really wants to get engaged and they don’t feel like you are every going to step up – they may decide to propose themselves.  This isn’t necessarily a negative thing.  However, if you are a man that really wouldn’t want a woman to propose to you, this could be a nightmare for you.  But if you are not proposing and your partner is ready for that step, they may feel like they have no other choice.

8. Delay In Starting A Family

If you are in your twenties, this probably isn’t a huge concern.  But for those in their thirties or forties, the biological clock ticking is a major concern.  If you wait too long to propose to your partner that is up against that clock, you could risk losing the opportunity to start a family.  And for some people, that is one of the biggest reasons they want to get married.  So if you are dating someone in that age bracket, you definitely want to keep this in mind when deciding if and when you are going to propose.  In many ways, it’s not fair to them to string them along during these years if you have no intention of proposing.

The most important way to mitigate all of these risks are to keep an open line of communication and to be honest with the way you feel.  After being together for a while, you want to have a conversation about expectations about the future of your relationship.  If your partner tells you that they want to be engaged by a certain time then you really need to listen to that and keep that in mind.  If you can’t get there by then, you owe it to them to be honest about that and then let them decide if they can continue to wait or not.

If you decide that your partner is the one and you want to avoid the risk of waiting too long to propose, then we can help.  If you are looking for a Proposal Planner – The Heart Bandits can help you plan the perfect proposal.  We will work with you to come up with the perfect proposal ideas and then help you plan the entire thing.  All you have to do is decide to ask and we will take care of the rest!  Contact us today!